am i too intense?
how would you describe yourself? everyone would insert 'nice' somewhere along the sentence because thats what we're supposed to be. we're supposed to be nice and compliant and easily nodding.
i think im too intense - i fall too fast - but its not falling, its not crushing, its not loving, its pining.
pining for people i can never have is all i can do.
and now i dont even know if i actually pine for people im supposed to.
and it scares me because will my family even accept me if i am?
and it terrifies me because i know deep down that im not even going to be able to tell for myself for i live in a cage, in a prison, with golden bars and diamond encrusted shackles. in the middle of nowhere.
i dont think i can come out
i dont think i can change
i dont think i can try for myself
i dont think i will ever have the chance to
i dont think i will be happy
and thats why i read, i suppose
because focusing on my own problem would be too much of an ache - heartache headache stomachache everywhereache - and its easier to lose yourself trying to fix someone else or at least reading about how they fix it.