It was the 4th or 5th night - I can't bring myself to remember. Nor can I find the courage to open the conversations again, knowing those numbers would be there to haunt me. Knowing I was being ignored.
It was the 4th or 5th night - when I started feeling miserable. I thought life was supposed to be sunshine and daisies the moment you clicked with somebody else. Or maybe it's just a placebo?
It was the 4th or 5th night - finally realizing how unstable I am. How my mood swings whichever direction he pulls me into. A word and I'm flying through the roof, silence and I'm back again with my old friend.
It was the 4th or 5th night - I lose track of time. At times I wish he would say goodbye, then at least I know it's over. But he didn't. And I'm grateful for that, since I would probably be back into another round of depression.
It was the 4th or 5th night - I wish he'd explain. Or at least let me ask. It was so easy for us that night, but now I'm back to calculating my every word. The way I used to do before that night.
It's now the 7th night - the whole week. I thought we would've teased each other mercilessly by now, I thought you would've learned to make time to see my messages. I thought I would be smiling like crazy every time my phone pings. But that's the thing, I only thought. I forced myself to think about what to type, and you chose to ignore me. I'm now back to being a zombie - frowning every time my phone pings, knowing it's not you. Knowing it might never be you anymore.