i was insecure today, and it's okay.
doubt was crossing and turning and churning and spewing
and i started to analyze again
back at it again with analyzing
the process of playing back every moment every sentence every word
and seeing flaws in perfection, looking for evidence in crime scenes of my head
i was self conscious today, and it's okay.
she's so different than me, my head said
she's your polar opposite, my analysis shows
she's so pretty,
she's slimmer
his hands would fit in hers because her fingers aren't fat
his arms would encircle her waist perfectly because hers is smaller than mine
they spent years together getting to know each other each crevices each hollows each valleys
they were 'forever and ever' every night spilling their deepest darkest secret
and on and on and on and on and on
and i wonder how many 'and on' i can add before it gets too old.
but now i wonder
what makes him crave me
what makes me crave him
what exactly is appealing about me,
when i can't even see it myself